


Skewed Toward Truth

by MuggleMaybe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: HPFT, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Hogwarts Era, Questioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 09:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11228139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuggleMaybe/pseuds/MuggleMaybe
Summary: Three times Alicia kissed a boy, and one time she didn't.





	Skewed Toward Truth

Skewed Toward Truth

* * *

 

The first time Alicia kissed a boy was after the first Quidditch match in her fourth year. The common room was decked out in scarlet and gold, and Lee Jordan pulled her aside.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” she mumbled, blushing. She didn’t know where to look. Lee’s face seemed far too close. His hands had grown before the rest of him, and she was surprised to notice how large they were, hanging awkwardly at his sides.

“You were bloody brilliant today,” he grinned. “I mean, it was a bit scary about Potter. But you were on fire.”

She smiled back. “Thanks.”

Over near the portrait hole, George was rigging up the wireless. Music interrupted their silence, heavy on the bass.

Lee put a large hand on her elbow. “You wanna dance?”

Alicia’s stomach wobbled. She liked dancing, and she liked Lee. He was charming and easy to talk to, and not bad looking, either. “Sure.”

She followed him toward the radio, where some seventh years had cleared the furniture away to make a dance floor. He glanced back at her over his shoulder, and his smile was incandescent, but Alicia mostly felt dazed. She thought about Angelina kissing Oliver during truth-or-dare, a week or two before. She’d just leaned over and done it, no trouble. Like it was nothing. But kissing wasn’t nothing. Kissing was _something_.

Alicia wanted to sit cross legged with her friends, sharing a bar of Honeyduke’s chocolate and whispering to them about how amazing a snog her beau was. She wanted them to giggle and say, “Oooh, Alicia has a boyfriend!” and poke her in the ribs. She wanted to feel even a fraction as beautiful as Katie or Angelina. All the girls in her dorm had snogged someone, and Alicia was tired of being the one who looked anywhere else when someone asked about her first kiss, and prayed they’d forget the question so she didn’t have to say _not yet_ out loud.

The first song was fast and heady, made for jumping and throwing one’s head back to shout along. The second was darker, and Alicia let herself sink into the music, swaying her hips along in time.

Lee’s eyes tickled her skin, and she kept glancing up at him and biting her lips at the following flutter of discomfort.

Then the music slowed to a ballad she felt sure Fred or George had selected specifically for Lee’s benefit. Shakily, glancing at her for permission, Lee put his arms around her waist.

Then he kissed her and it was… well, it was okay, she supposed. His lips were chapped, but his tongue when it intruded her moth was large and wet. She pulled away, and immediately felt guilty. “Sorry, Lee,” she mumbled.

She didn’t kiss him again.

***

The second time Alicia kissed a boy was on Valentine’s Day in Hogsmeade, fifth year.

Two days before, Oliver approached her after Transfiguration. “Hey, Alicia. Want to go to Hogsmeade with me?” It was weird seeing him look so ill composed, and she laughed. She couldn’t help it. But it was Oliver. He was her friend, and by every standard one of the best looking boys in the year. Definitely crush-worthy. So, good. She could have a crush on Oliver and finally join in when her friends talked about boys. She could finally feel normal.

“Yeah, alright,” she answered, and the panicked look on the boy’s face changed to one of relief.

“Brilliant. Meet you in the entrance hall at noon?”

“Okay. Great.”

“Great.”

On Saturday, they walked together through the snow and looked around at all the shops. Oliver spent an inordinate about of time at Quality Quidditch Supplies. She loved Quidditch too, of course, but Oliver’s obsession bordered on fanaticism. After two hours, she dragged him away to find something to eat.

Madame Puddifoot’s was crowded, but they got a table in the back. After two cups of tea and a cheese toastie, they were both leaning back in the booth, a bit heavy lidded and drained of conversation. But Oliver was _the one_. She’d worked herself up to this, reminded herself over and over how desirable he was, and she was not letting this opportunity slip by. So, she leaned across the table and swept her lips gently over his.

It was cool and vacant, like arriving at an empty house. Nobody home. They pulled apart.

Oliver’s face was nearly a grimace. “Look, Alicia,” he began, and she felt thankful for his characteristic bluntness. “I don’t think”—

“Best make it just friends, yeah?” She interrupted.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

She waved goodbye to him outside the teashop and spent a lovely evening with Katie instead, Angelina being occupied with Fred.

***

The third time Alicia kissed a boy was rather hard to remember.

“Come on, just one?” Angelina wheedled, waving a shot of amber-colored liquid under her nose.

“Don’t be pushy, Ange.” Katie reminded. “It’s up to Alicia if she drinks.”

Alicia blushed. They’d all snuck out of the castle to celebrate her seventeenth birthday at the Three Broomsticks, and one of the boys had ordered a bottle of fire whiskey. The boys wore jeans and sweaters, nothing of interest, but the girls had gone all out. Alicia liked an excuse to dress up now and then.

“Thanks, Katie. But it’s alright, really.” She smiled warmly at the other girl. Angelina was her best mate, but Katie was always sweet, and kind, and deceptively fierce. Really, her friends were wonderful, Alicia thought, downing the shot in one go. Lee gave a cheer and Angelina grinned devilishly. She was already pouring another round.

Four rounds later, the boys were engrossed in reenacting a prank they’d played on Umbridge, and the girls were squished together on one side of the booth, enjoying the antics and playing a private round of truth-or-dare that was shamelessly skewed toward truth.

“Truth or dare?” Angelina asked Katie.

“Dare,” Katie said at once.

“Come on, pick truth!” Angelina puffed out her lips in a puppy dog expression. “Pleeeeease? All the cool kids are doing it. Truth is the new dare!”

Katie laughed and shoved Angelina’s shoulder. “You’re impossible.”

“Does that mean yes?”

“Fine.” Katie leaned back in defeat. “Truth.”

“Yes!” Angelina crowed. Alicia’s stomach was beginning to hurt from laughing. “Katherine Marie Bell, who do you fancy?”

“Who says I fancy someone?”

“Of course you fancy someone!” Angelina hollered.

Katie’s face went pink and she shot Alicia a desperate look. “I don’t. I don’t fancy anyone.”

She was obviously lying, but before Angelina could further interrogate her, Lee showed up with another round of shots, which everyone but Katie took.

Alicia already felt blurry at the edges, but that last drink made a smudge of her. Someone turned on the wireless and why hadn’t they already been dancing? Dancing was brilliant. The Weird Sisters were brilliant. Other people joined them on the dance floor, and that was brilliant. Alicia could feel the beat of the music at the base of her skull, and her body seemed to move without effort. She found herself facing a bloke she didn’t know. She found her hands in his. Then he was holding her close, their hips moving together. His lips were against hers, hot and slick, and it was okay. It was strange, but not bad strange. It was whatever.

***

She woke up in her four-poster, still in her pink dress, the blankets tangled around her. Merlin, her head hurt. Rain pounded out on the grounds, and Alicia lay back down and pulled the blankets up over her head until she heard Angelina’s voice.

“Sit up. I’ve got a hangover cure.”

Alicia peeked out over the edge of the covers, to find her two best friends standing there, still in their pajamas. Katie giggled. “You look adorable.” She shoved a vial of potion into Alicia’s hand.

They spent the day cloistered inside the curtains of Alicia’s bed, alternately napping and studying. Katie had a set of teacups charmed to never go empty, so the room smelled of Earl Grey and firewood. Alicia felt hazy and pleasant. She wasn’t making much progress with her revision, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. It was Saturday, which meant she had all day tomorrow to regret today’s laziness, and something about that morning demanded to be savored.

After a while, Angelina got up to use the loo. Alicia scooted closer to Katie. Her brow was creased slightly and her lips pursed in concentration. Alicia lifted a finger and traced the outline of Katie’s form, the curve of her narrow shoulders. Her chest looked larger than usual because of how she had her knees curled up.

Katie sighed and pushed _The Standard Book of Spells, Year 6_ aside. She smiled her sweet smile and let her eyes fall closed. “This is nice. Let’s just stay here forever.” Her eyelashes fanned out on her cheekbones. A strand of caramel colored hair hung over her face, and Alicia fought a bizarre urge to move it out of the way.

“Mmm,” Alicia agreed.

“Who was that bloke last night?” Katie asked abruptly.

“Who?” Then she recalled the dancing, the unknown man. “Oh, him. I dunno.”

Katie gave her a knowing look.

“He was just a bloke,” she shrugged.

“Alicia…” Katie turned toward her, a small hand coming to rest on her shoulder. “I know it hasn’t been the easiest thing for you. Dating, I mean. Do you really not mind kissing someone you don’t know a thing about?”

Alicia flushed and snapped, “You don’t have to be so judgmental about it.”

“No, it’s not like that! I only want to make sure you’re okay.” Katie’s expression was so sincere, Alicia could hardly stand to look at her.

“I’m okay,” she replied, throat tight. Katie waited, watching her carefully. After a long pause, Alicia forced herself to keep talking. “Sometimes, I think I must be broken. Everyone talks about snogging like it’s irresistible, like there’s nothing better in the world. But to me it isn’t… I don’t know how to explain it. When I kissed Lee, and Oliver, and whoever that was last night… I didn’t feel a thing. There’s supposed to be a spark, right? I’m supposed to _want_ it. But I don’t. And I’m broken and there’s never any spark and I’m so afraid I’ll never fall in love with anyone.”

Katie leaned forward and held her hand gently against Alicia’s face. “Oh honey, oh love. You’re not broken. Never think that. Never ever.” She pulled Alicia into a tight hug.

Tears tracked silently down Alicia’s face, and she sniffled. “Why do I have to find a bloke? I don’t even like most boys.”

Katie stiffened and she moved away. “Maybe you don’t. Maybe you…” She was red faced, her fingers clenching and unclenching the blanket under her. “Alicia, have you ever thought that maybe you might, um, like girls?”

“I do like girls, obviously, Katie. You’re my best friend and”—

“No. I mean, have you ever thought you might like kissing girls?” Katie couldn’t meet her eyes anymore.

Alicia didn’t say anything. Her heart drummed in her ears and she let her eyes fall back to Katie’s cleavage, which was always infuriatingly magnetic and oh, god, she had never considered this. Katie was so beautiful and she’d always dismissed it as jealously. When she smiled at every word Katie said, it was just what friends did, but, fuck, maybe it wasn’t that simple at all. Maybe… maybe…

“Oh.” Alicia said.

“Yeah,” Katie agreed. The beginnings of a smile tugged at the corners of her beautiful lips.

Alicia pulled her knees onto the bed and crawled over the mattress to Katie, right up to her, until she was nearly sitting in her lap.

“Do you like kissing girls?” Alicia asked. She had a weird sensation low in her stomach, like before a Quidditch match.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

The first time Alicia kissed a girl was soft and insistent, and lit a flame so vibrant that she thought her center would melt. She tasted like tea, and the skin on her back when Alicia drew her closer was silken. When they parted for breath, every nerve in Alicia’s body called out for more.

“Wow,” she breathed.

“Wow,” Katie agreed, pulling her back in.

The second time Alicia kissed a girl was even better.

**Author's Note:**

> JKR owns the Potterverse.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I haven't written much in AGES, and I don't feel like this is all that great, but at least it's something, and it features a ship I love so yay.


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